With the announcement of the cast for ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ comes hope that I could be chosen for an upcoming season. I am far from conceited, nor do I claim to be popular, but I can’t be much less known than some of the “celebrities” that will be competing on the hit series.
Based on the latest cast, the title should be changed to ‘Dancing with the Has-Beens,” so maybe I am not yet ready for prime time. I’m still enjoying the pinnacle of my fame, but I will probably be available to appear in a few more years. Maybe before then I can try and learn at least a few basic steps.
WARNING: If you have heard of each of these contestants, you really need to get a life. My social status is on life support, but have a relatively high I.Q of the entertainment industry and even I am clueless on a couple of the names. To call it a B-list would be complimentary, it is more of a W, as in “Who’s that”?
The list includes Kirstie Alley, who is best known for the weight she’s gained since ‘Cheers’ went off the air almost 20 years ago. She’s biggest female star; and I don’t mean in just body size, but also notoriety.
There is talk show host Wendy Williams…I guess Oprah was busy. And Kendra Wilkinson, a former Playboy playmate and former star of the E series ‘The Girls Next Door.’ I, of course, have never seen her. They are joined by Chelsea Kane. Who? After doing some research, I discovered she is a Disney channel sitcom ‘Jonas L.A.’. No offense to Mickey Mouse, but I suppose she does make for better Tango viewing.
Rounding out the females is Petra Nemcova. She is a model from the Czech Republic. Just for the benefit of you the readers, I spent a good amount of time researching her work. I never forget a pretty face, so I had never heard of her before.
Leading the males is…umm…..who is the biggest name? The decision is hard because they are all on a pretty similar level of obscurity. Three of the men do have athletic backgrounds, including Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Fellow contestants better be aware of him as he is likely to blindside them with a cheap shot. That seems to be how he plays. There is also former heavyweight boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, whose success will again depend on the judges and his fancy footwork. Since I’m a self confessed fan of professional wrestling, I will include Chris Jericho in the field of athletes.
Speaking of athletes, there is also Ralph Macchio, known for starring in the ‘Karate Kid’ films of the 80’s. Too bad Pat Morita is no longer with us to train him. Advice such as, “Wax on, wax off” could prove valuable in dancing.
A rapper named Romeo is also competing, sounds like a combination that could end in tragedy. Finally, last but certainly least is Mike Catherwood, host of the radio show ‘Loveline.’
With a cast like that, I’m likely to again not watch this season of ‘Dancing with the Stars’. Instead I will sit around waiting for an invitation to be on next year.
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