In the spirit of Halloween, horror movies enjoy a rise in popularity; what the genre typically lacks in plot is made up for by gruesomeness. Films which by now could be considered classics by some, like the original Nightmare on Elm Streets, Halloween, and the countless Friday the 13ths were basically all about a monster of a man who went around killing people. Yet, there was/is something compelling about them and they all follow the same basic rules of a horror movie, which could serve as steps to live by.
The Scream franchise, which began in 1996 and will be continued with a fourth installment in April of 2011 forever changed the style of slasher films. It had a suspenseful story line, plus comedy, drama, and introduced the ‘Rules.’ Unlike most of its predecessors, Scream actually had a plot.
Though horror movies are typically frowned upon by parent and Christian Conservative groups in a sense they should be recommended as a type of birth control. As it seems that every couple who engages in sexual activity is brutally murdered soon after, I’m still half scared to even kiss a woman. I don’t know how the counselors for Camp Crystal Lake ever got hired as all they ever seemed to do in the Friday the 13th movies was have sex, get drunk and smoke pot…..Hmmmm, why was I never a counselor?
Another important lesson to be learned is to never run up the stairs when being chased by mad man yielding a machete or another such dangerous object. It never ceased to amaze me, how the prey would avoid the back door and instead seek safety by running upstairs. Then usually lock themselves in a room or hide in the closet, where there is no escape.
However, if the potential victim does manage to get outside the results are predictable. If they run, a fall is certain to happen. Scantily clad females, wearing white and no undergarments has an increased chance of falling or causing a sudden rainstorm. Also, if freedom can be reached by a car, it will never start. Even if it’s a brand new car, made in Japan, it will suddenly have a malfunction.
Furthermore, don’t ever be fooled by a dastardly villains apparent lack of any speed. They could be 50 or more yards behind, lumbering along with an ax sticking out of their forehead, and then suddenly be in front of you.
Be extremely cautious if you are the only African American, or other foreign nationality, amongst a group of white friends. You will never be the sole survivor. The same goes for the fun loving comedian of the group, their jokes are numbered. And never, never go skinny dipping.
Finally, if somehow victory was achieved and the monster seems to have been killed…Run. Don’t stick around to collect your emotions or reveal their masked identity, because they are truly never dead. Beasts like Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers have been sliced, diced, scattered, smothered and all types of other Waffle House phrases, but always come back for more.
Despite often knowing what’s going to happen, before it does, horror movies are still enjoyable to watch and could just save your life.
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