Applying for Work is a Tough Job

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The unemployment rate is often in the news, as is possible reasons for it, but I’ve never heard mention of the strenuous application process. I’ve recently been seeking a job, and feel like a paycheck is deserved for all the effort put into the search. Filling out the application was likely more difficult than some of the sought after jobs.

As with everything else, applying for jobs is largely done online now. It at least keeps my bad handwriting from being seen. Nor is dressing up required to try and impress the potential employer as I can fill-out the application from home in the comfort of my pajamas. However, many businesses require the completion of a survey, which resembles a psychological analysis.

Rather than to be a cashier at a chain store, I felt like I was trying to get hired as a Federal Agent.  I didn’t know a minimum wage job required such a high degree of mental testing.

The questions include a series of hypothetical questions, such as; If a supervisor rudely yells at another employee, would you…A) Tell another supervisor, B) Get in the middle, C) Comfort the employee, D) Nothing….Really, it doesn’t matter as it’s been my experience that the employee would just quit anyway and find another menial job. Plus it depends on if the employee is my friend or is taking my hours.

Several of the questions also require some deep personal analysis…Are you happy with your place in life? Ummm, I’m nearing middle age and applying to be a shelf stocker, because my English degree is good for nothing and my cupboards are full of Ramen Noodles. Yes, I’m on top of the world!!!

It also causes you to doubt whether or not, honesty is always the best policy. You don’t want to lie, but sometimes the truth isn’t always the most appealing answer. Is it easy for you to start a conversation with strangers? Do you like being the center of attention at social gatherings? Well, anyone who knows me at all describes me as quiet. I am not Mr. Personality, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of asking people, “Would you like fries with that?” I want to be true to myself, but also not cost myself a job by admitting that I don’t talk a lot.

I applied this week to be a dishwasher for an area restaurant, that’s part of a national chain, and I had to fill our 12 pages. Yes, 12 pages of such questions. I was once a dishwasher at Frisch’s for 9 years, and can honestly say that it’s a position that doesn’t require such a degree of mental aptitude. It makes no difference if I strongly disagree, disagree, somewhat agree, agree or strongly agree that it’s best to consider all possible long term affects while solving a problem.

All that’s important is that I’ll get the dishes clean to the best of my ability, except those stained with egg, and will show up on-time every day I’m scheduled.

Well, I must not be answering the questions right because I haven’t been called for any interviews, or maybe I’ll just apply now with the C.I.A. I’m prepared for their application.

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