While being born on U.S soil, passing a Citizenship test or apparently being the President are the requirements to being a real American, I feel another step should be required. Yes, it’s good to know the Bill of Rights, each of the U.S states, and who wrote the Constitution but what determines a true red blooded American is the viewing of The Brady Bunch.

Nobody should be able to reside on this great land, who isn’t familiar enough with the classic sitcom to recite the theme song. It is such a piece of American history, that it should be sung right after the National Anthem at all public sporting events, with hats still off.

All through school we are forced to sit through endless classes of U.S History, studying events from hundreds of years ago, while everything that’s need to be known in life is learned from the Brady Bunch. Memorizing the Gettysburg Address is great, but saying ‘Four score and seven years ago,’ does no good when needing to break a date because of a better offer. As Greg once advised to Marcia, ‘Something suddenly came up,’ works much better.

Family values are also a constant theme of the Brady Bunch, and at a time when the divorce rate is rampant and many couples are remarrying who have children from a previous marriage, the sitcom serves as a positive example. Yes, difficulties will be faced, but nothing that can’t be resolved within a half hour, even if it requires building a house of cards.

An endless amount of wisdom was dealt out by Mike & Carol, but none has stuck with me more than the nugget of truth spoken by Mrs. Brady in the classic episode titled ‘Dough Re Mi’ when Peter’s voice changes right when the kids are ready to record a hit song. They are forced to decide whether or not Peter should be kept in the group and Carol offers this sage advice, ‘Money and fame are very important things, but sometimes there are things that are more important…like people.”

Admittedly, I have long forgotten which states formed the confederacy but those words from Mrs. Carol Brady have always stuck with me. And as an American, which has honestly done me more good? If more citizens put other people ahead of fame and fortune, this country would be a much better place.

The Brady Bunch taught me many other valuable life lessons, including; throwing a football at someone’s nose can break it, not to play ball in the house and tiki idols in Hawaii are bad luck. Each of those lessons have served me very well and most likely diverted major catastrophe.
I also learned pork chops and applesauce go great together, don’t call people Shrimpo, and baked beans can be stored in a flashlight. Granted, none of that information is contained on any Citizenship test but is vital in being a true American.

A sign of patriotism should be; knowing the name of Greg’s alter ego? Cindy’s baby doll? Whose Buddy Hinton and George Glass? If you can answer any of those, then you deserve to be in land of the free and the home of the brave.

Stay tuned for movies you must see to be a real American.