Some years back, Hollywood released a movie called Pay It Forward. The premise of the movie is a boy who is given a class project to complete by his social studies teacher. His task is to come up with a plan that will change the world through direct action. The boy devises a plan to do a good deed for three people who must, in turn, each do good deeds for three other people, creating a pyramid of kindness. The act of kindness is not paid back but instead paid forward to another person. Hence the term: ‘pay it forward.”
I tried my own hand at paying it forward not too long ago and had my hand slapped. Since then I’ve been mulling the situation over in my mind wondering what the consensus would be if other people found themselves in the same situation.
On a quick jaunt to downtown Dayton I parked my car in a lot where instead of taking a ticket on the way in and paying for the amount of time on the way out, I prepaid for a specific amount of time. It was the paper equivalent of a parking meter. My business in the city took no more than thirty minutes but I had purchased three hours worth of time. On my way out of the lot I approached a man who was purchasing his own ticket. I offered him my ticket and said he was welcome to use the balance of my time. He could simply add more money for any additional time he needed. He smiled and accepted my ticket when another man standing nearby spoke up and squashed my good deed.
The second man was the owner of the lot. He made it clear that sharing time was not allowed and he would issue a parking violation to the man who accepted my kindness if he used the balance of my time. I was stunned but managed to point out that I had already paid for the time. I asked him what the difference was between the way he ran his parking lot and the way people ‘share’ parking meters on the street. Isn’t it expected that any time left on one person’s meter will be used to offset the next person’s parking fee? Would anyone intentionally wait until the time in a parking meter expired before putting their own coins in? He told me he’d lose money if he allowed people to share time. I told him he was charging double and triple the time for one space.
This “do good” concept didn’t originate with Hollywood. It is a little known fact that the idea was described by Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22, 1784:
“I do not pretend to give such a sum; I only lend it to you. When you […] meet with another honest man in similar distress, you must pay me by lending this sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a knave that will stop its progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.”
In sociology, this concept is called “generalized reciprocity.” The Bible phrases it as “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I don’t know the end of the story because I wasn’t ready to die on that hill. I shrugged to the first man, acquiesced to the owner and left the parking lot in a disgusted state. I had tried to be kind. Oh well. Apparently we’ll have none of that.
