As an avid television watcher, I feel qualified to offer my picks to win the Primetime Emmy Awards. Though many of the nominations make me feel like I don’t watch many quality shows, I will still form an opinion on the categories that are most cared about. Unfortunately, ‘Get Social’ did not receive any nominations this year.
American Idol: Since half of the judges have resigned or been released since last season, I don’t think it deserves an Emmy. Plus, I haven’t heard a single mention of the winners name. What is it again?
Project Runway: I may go to a Richard Marx concert by myself, but I draw the line at turning in to this series. Besides, as wardrobe will show you, I’m not very fashion conscious.
Dancing with the Stars: Everyone talks about it, and with Ochocinco, plus Pamela Anderson on it this season..did I mention Buzz Aldrin too, I tried to watch it but couldn’t make it through a whole episode.
Top Chef: I get my fill of cooking shows watching the half dozen that Gordon Ramsay has. Besides, if it doesn’t include cooking it in the microwave I’m probably never going to make it anyway.
Emmy goes to: The Amazing Race…The category should have included Survivor, Big Brother and Hell’s Kitchen, but the Amazing Race is compelling television.
My Pick: Missing from this category are three of my favorites; Survivor, Big Brother and Hell’s Kitchen. They would make perfect replacements for the three shows which were nominated that I don’t watch. While I may go to a Richard Marx concert by myself, I draw the line at tuning in to Project Runway. I get my fill of cooking shows by watching those with Gordon Ramsay and I tried but just couldn’t make it through a full episode of Dancing with the Stars.
That leaves American Idol, which I am a fan of, but since half of the judges have since resigned or been released I don’t think they are worthy of winning. So my pick is for The Amazing Race.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Chris Colfer as Kurt in Glee: Though one of the most talked about shows of the year, I didn’t watch Glee. I tried a couple times, and didn’t see what all the hype was about.
Jon Cryer as Alan in Two and a Half Men: I loved him as Duckie in the 80’s film, ’Pretty in Pink,’ but that means nothing here. In all the years its been on, I’ve never watched an episode or even part of one of Two and a Half Men. I just hope that Charlie Sheen doesn’t attack him with a knife for not winning.
Neil Patrick Harris as Barney on How I Met Your Mother: Again, a sitcom that I don’t watch. Monday has always been wrestling night for me on the television.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell on Modern Family: Is one half of the gay couple.
Eric Stonestreet as Cameron on Modern Family: The other half of the gay couple.
The Emmy goes to: Ty Burrell as Phil on Modern Family. No show made me laugh more than Modern Family, the entire cast is superb but I think Burrel is most deserving.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jane Lynch as Sue in Glee: I suspect she will win, but not from my vote.
Jane Krakowski as Jenna on 30 Rock: This is another show that I should watch, but for one reason or another have avoided it.
Kristin Wiig as being several characters on Saturday Night Live: She is a real chameleon, among my favorites is the Target cashier but I can’t overlook MacGruber.
Holland Taylor as Evelyn on Two and a Half Men: See previous category.
Sofia Vergaro as Gloria on Modern Family: The best television wife that Ed O’Neil has had since Peg Bundy. Is curvaceous and funny, is in tight race to win in my book.
The Emmy goes to: Julie Bowen as Claire in on Modern Family: I picked her onscreen husband in the previous category so might as well keep it all in the family. Besides, she is one of my secret crushes.
SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
John Slattery as Roger on Mad Men: I hear lots of great things about this series, but have never seen it.
Martin Short as Leonard on Damages: Never even heard of it.
Aaron Paul as Jesse on Breaking Bad: This category is really making me feel like I need more drama in my life. Have never even seen a commercial for it.
Andre Braugher as Owen on Men of a Certain Age: Okay, where’s a TV Guide?
Terry O’Quinn as Locke on LOST: Now we’re talking, apparently LOST provided all the television drama I need. A great character and performance, ordinarily would be a sure winner but there is only one person that offers some competition.
The Emmy goes to Michael Emerson as Ben on LOST: I love Ben, one of the all time great television performances. Surrounded by a great cast, he still rose above them all. If he doesn’t win, it’s a crime.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Christina Hendricks as Joan on Mad Men: Who?
Rose Byrne as Ellen on Damages: What about the women on LOST?
Archie Panjabi as Kalinda on The Good Wife: Sorry, never heard of you.
Sharon Gless as Madeline on Burn Notice: Used to be on Cagney & Lacey, which I watched about as many times as I have Burn Notice…zero.
Christine Baranski as Diane on The Good Wife: Beginning to wonder why I’m even writing this column.
The Emmy goes to: Elisabeth Moss as Peggy on Mad Men. I don’t know why, but I had to pick somebody.
LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Larry David as Himself on Curb Your Enthusiasm: Probably a good show, but am to cheap for HBO.
Tony Shalhoub as Monk on Monk: Is on basic cable, yet still never watched it.
Matthew Morrison as Will on Glee: Based on these nominations, maybe I should give Glee another try.
Jim Parsons as Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory: Dang wrestling keeps me from all this comedy.
Alec Baldwin as Jack on 30 Rock: He was once married to Kim Basinger, that’s enough of an award.
The Emmy goes to: Steve Carell as Michael on The Office is always dependable for a few good laughs, is perfect as the clueless boos, but didn’t have enough ‘That’s what she said’ lines this season.
LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Edie Falco as Jackie on Nurse Jackie: Don’t have Showtime either.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine on The New Adventures of Old Christine: The series was cancelled so feel it isn’t worthy of an Emmy.
Lea Michele as Rachel on Glee: Not only can she act, but sing too. To bad I missed it.
Toni Collette as Tara on United States of Tara: Again, no Showtime.
Tina Fey as Liz on 30 Rock: I have nothing against Tina, I think she’s brilliant and love the glasses but even on Saturday Night Live I always liked her final competitor a little better.
The Emmy goes to: Amy Poehler as Leslie on Parks and Recreation. She’s another personal favorite of mine.
LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jon Hamm as Don on Mad Men: Maybe I should start spending less time on Facebook and watch some of these shows.
Kyle Chandler as Eric on Friday Night Lights: I’ve never even seen the movie on which the series is based.
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory on House: I really don’t see what all the women see in him.
Michael C. Hall as Dexter on Dexter: I thought Showtime was a movie channel anyway.
Bryan Cranston as Walter on Breaking Bad: I’ve never even heard of anyone talk about this show.
The Emmy goes to: Matthew Fox as Jack on LOST. Wasn’t my favorite character on the show, but can’t go against it in any category. Especially since it’s the only show I watched.
LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
January Jones as Betty on Mad Men: She looks more like a July to me…HOT.
Kyra Sedgwick as Brenda on The Closer: She will bring home the bacon (her husband Kevin) but not the Emmy.
Mariska Hargitay as Olivia on Law & Order:SVU: There are so many L&O and CSI’s but I don’t watch any.
Glenn Close as Patty on Damages: Sorry, but I still hold what you once did to that poor rabbit against you.
Connie Britton as Tami on Friday Night Lights: Hope you’re a winner on Friday, because you won’t be on this night.
The Emmy goes to: Julianna Margulies as Alicia on the Good Wife. A good wife is hard to find and being one is deserving of some praise.
OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Curb Your Enthusiasm: I like free tv much better.
Nurse Jackie: See above.
Glee: For tonight, change the name to Sad.
30 Rock: I might try and watch it next season,
The Office: One of my favorite shows, but not enough ’That’s what she said’ lines this year.
The Emmy goes to: Modern Family. I said somewhere up above, that no show made me laugh harder this year so I have to award that.
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
True Blood: Enough with Vampires already.
Dexter: Didn’t that used to be a comic strip?
Mad Men: I’ll be happy if it doesn’t win, but probably will.
The Good Wife: One praise was enough.
Breaking Bad: Are you telling me this has more drama than Desperate Housewives?
The Emmy goes to: LOST. When the series being over leads to a deep depression, that is Emmy worthy drama.
Wow…that’s a long one…’That’s what she said.’ Now I know why awards shows take forever, so do the articles about them.
The Emmy’s are Sunday night, August 29 at 8:00 on NBC…I’ll be watching Big Brother instead.