TIPP TALK – Catalog Shopping for Christmas
December 20
by Greg Enslen
Catalog Shopping. The Hammacher Schlemmer catalog comes every year around this time, hoping to get me to buy some over-priced and completely useless items for my friends and family. Like the other catalogs that stuff up my mailbox, I’m at a loss – do people really buy a lot of things out of them, or are the catalogs more for getting a sense of what is popular and available? I enjoy looking through them, but this year I noticed some really interesting – and really strange items:
- The Golf Ball Finding Glasses “contain a pigment that helps to block out the light reflected by dark objects so golf balls are easy to locate.” Okay, how many balls do you have to lose to pay $40 for these glasses? And if you’re losing that many balls, perhaps you should find a new hobby.
- The Table Top Cotton Candy Maker “spins carnival-worthy cotton candy in your own home.” I think someone would only buy this out of shear boredom.
- The Wrist Strap Fish Finder “reads depth to 120 feet with a wide sonar beam, transmitting real-time view of fish and underwater terrain.” Really, who needs this? Fisherman would have a real, boat-mounted fish finder, right? And I don’t fish, so I don’t need a fish finder at all. Is this for casual (and rich – the item is $140) part-time fisherman who need the added convenience of a wrist-mounted fish finder?
- The Video Recording Sunglasses “with a built-in video camera that allow you to discreetly record all that you see.” If you see someone wearing really bulky sunglasses (the camera is above the nose but the electronics are stored in the arms) and repeating your name often, just walk away. And one word for anyone buying this: “creepy.”
- The Indoor Dog Restroom “gives dogs a place to relieve themselves when they can’t get outside”. It looks like a boot tray covered with Astroturf. Seriously, if you don’t have time to let your dog out, why do you have a dog?
- The Total Body Support Pillow “gives optimum support for upper and lower extremities” by providing back support, looping up over your head, and then giving you something to put your hands and feet on. By the look of the picture, nothing says “single and loving it” like this $120 pillow.
- The Best Hair Rollers “ensure smooth waves or tight curls without burning the scalp.” The most surprising thing about this item – people still use hair rollers!
Some useful items I found that you might be interested in: an under counter DVD player, a desktop light therapy box (it simulates the full spectrum light of the rising sun), an LP to CD recorder, 12-hour heated socks, and a VHS to DVD converter. I guess there is a big demand for converting old formats to new ones, which says something about the fragility of our memories and keepsakes. For me, I’ll ask for the Marshmallow Shooter, a pump-action device that shoots those big s’mores marshmallows over 30 feet. Now that’s a party!
Merry Christmas. Seriously, have a great Christmas out there, be safe, and enjoy your time with family and friends. And remember, we all live a great little town – I’ve lived ALL over and Tipp is pretty special.
Hear something interesting for “Tipp Talk” or want to disagree with my shopping tastes? Experience a disaster with the Marshmallow Shooter? Shoot me an email at genslen@yahoo.com. And don’t worry – I won’t quote you unless you want me to!
